Better late than never – My Weekend in Ocean View!

The time has finally come!  I’ve been meaning to write this post for so long.  It’s been two (almost three!) weeks now since I stayed in Ocean View with my host parents, Arthur and Debbie, and there is so much to write about from those three days.  The reason I’ve waited so long is because it really was an incredible weekend and I wanted to devote enough time to this post as it deserves.  It’s not something that should be rushed and I’ve been pretty busy this past week studying for my Geology exam and writing a History paper.  I have one more class at 4 today then it's officially spring break!  It's going by wayyyy too fast which is actually a bit upsetting.  I never thought I'd be at a place where I'm not ready to go on spring break by the time it arrives.  Regardless, I'm really getting excited for my trip to Botswana and Zimbabwe.

Where do I even begin?!  I’ll start at the veeeeery beginning.  As in before we even left.  Basically on Monday we were told that we would be going on the homestay that coming Friday.  Obviously, if you didn’t want to go you didn’t have to, but it was highly encouraged for us to go.  I was definitely going – I mean, I’m here in South Africa to learn about and understand this country and here I am going to what is pretty much the best university in the country.  I’d say that’s a pretty skewed view of South Africa as a whole.  Not that I’m complaining!  I love UCT and everything about it!  But it can’t hurt to also spend time in places other than Rondebosch (the suburb where I live).

We had a meeting on Wednesday before leaving going over the basics of what we should expect for the weekend.  As per usual, it was semi vague.  I’ve found that Americans really expect exact answers when events are planned.  Ambiguity is not particularly appreciated.  I’ve also found that things in South Africa are, as the South Africans would say, pretty chilled.  Meaning there’s a go-with-the-flow mentality and there’s enough planning so that there’s not a huge mess up, but not enough to answer the questions we would typically expect.

I pretty much went into the weekend knowing the following information:

We’ll be staying with a family who lives in Ocean View.  This is the same township we visited where we heard the children’s band about a month and a half ago.  Ocean View came about after the forced removals in the 60s.  Most of the residents here moved from an area called Simon’s Town and moved their homes and families here.  Since then, it has become a colored community housing thousands of families.  Almost all of the houses or apartments are made of brick.  Today the community faces the issues of teenage pregnancy, high school dropout, alcohol abuse, meth (called tik), and there is also a large Rastafarian community nearby.  Honestly, I’d say we have our fair share of these issues back in the US as well.  Granted that everything is on a different scale, to a different extent, and with a different context, I was actually surprised before going on this trip to hear so many similarities to issues back in the US.  As bad as this sounds, I expected them to list off all these crazy issues and challenges and just be overwhelmed to think that this is where I’d be staying for the weekend.  In actuality, these are challenges that are quite relevant in the US (although I can’t say I’ve been directly exposed to them I know I don’t represent the majority of the country).  When taken at face value (meaning when you don’t know the politics and such behind the issues) they’re virtually the same things that cause problems in the US.  So that was an interesting realization/expectation to have going into the weekend.

As far as other information we were given, we were basically told to show up at a bus on Friday at 6pm and we’d be back on Sunday around 3pm.  There were possibilities we might be going to church or the beach so pack accordingly.  We did not need to bring bedding or towels, but we were responsible for bringing a gift for our family.  We were advised not to bring wine because there are a handful of Muslim families participating in the homestays.  I decided to bake brownies for my family.  I wish I had planned when I was home so I could have brought them something from home!

On Friday we were packed into two big busses and taken from UCT to Ocean View, about a 45 minutes drive away.  As I experienced the last time we were there, we were warmly welcomed.  All 70 students and their families went to the multipurpose center where we were fed a great meal and watched a few performances from the locals.  The performances were pretty similar to the last ones we saw.  We saw the children’s band, some singers, and a few dance performances.  I briefly met my host parents Arthur and Debbie, but it was a bit hectic so I didn’t get to talk to them very much.  I also met the other exchange student, Caroline, who would be staying with me.  I actually live right next door to her in Rondebosch so it was fun to get to know someone I wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise!

We were the first family to leave after the presentation.  I was totally fine with that though because I was excited to get settled in and meet my parents!  We got in their car and drove about five minutes away to their home.  At this point it was probably about 9:30 and Caroline were pretty tired from the busy week we had had, but ready to get to know our parents better and learn about their lives in Ocean View.

Our family consisted of a mother and father named Arthur and Debbie.  They were both in their mid-50s and their two daughters had moved out of the house so it was just them.  A cousin lived in a house in the back and we got to spend some time with him as well.  His name is Grant and he is probably in his 20s or 30s.  Initially I was a little bummed about this because I thought it would be fun to have kids in the family!  Looking back on my experience, I think I got even more out of being able to have “adult” conversations with my family.  I also really enjoyed the laid back, slower pace of the weekend.

Their house was on a bustling street.  There were tons of people out and about at such a “late” hour on Friday, but it was lively and exciting.  We dropped our backpacks off in our room upstairs then went downstairs to sit with Debbie and Arthur in the living room.  Arthur was watching a channel with tons of “top hit” music videos and Debbie immediately came in offering Caroline and I a “premium vodka flavored drink” called Purple Ice Red Square.  She said this is her daughter’s favorite drink and was very excited for us to have it too.  Neither Arthur nor Debbie drink anymore.  I didn’t pry into reasons why, but Arthur did mention something about him potentially having or developing diabetes while him and I were talking about alcohol so the two might be related.  Or maybe not.

As Caroline and I enjoyed our purple drank (quite literally), we sat and talked downstairs.  Initially I thought Arthur was really quiet and reserved when we were in the gymnasium, but after talking to him for a bit at home I came to the conclusion that he is more reserved in big social settings than in intimate settings where he really opens up.  In fact, Arthur is quite opinionated!

I was a bit shocked within the first hour as he told us how South Africa is getting “worse” and will never improve.  He was referring mostly to the corruption in the government and the leaders who were in power for being responsible for South Africa not improving much.  Personally, I still think there is hope of things improving in this country.  While I don’t live here and don’t understand things like Arthur and Debbie do, I do still think things can be improved with the right leadership.  The current president, Jacob Zuma, does not seem to be liked by many people at all.  Granted, I have not gone around asking people all over the spectrum, but I have yet to hear one positive thing about him since I’ve been here.  I’m curious to hear what the black community thinks of him because I’ve really only heard directly from whites, coloreds, and blacks at UCT.

We talked a lot about politics over the weekend (Can you actually imagine me being totally engaged and excited in politics?  I think it’s because I don’t yet understand it enough to be frustrated by it like I am at home).  I’ve been asking a lot of people about politics since my homestay.  In fact, I went out to a bar with friends one night after we got back and ended up talking to two guys about politics here for about an hour.  One of the guys supported the DA (Democratic Alliance) and the other supported the ANC (African National Congress).  Both were white men probably about the same age so it was fascinating to hear things from both sides of the political spectrum.  After a certain point, my friends decided to go somewhere else so we exchanged numbers and said we’d continue the conversation at some point in the future.  I’ve been in touch with one of the guys once since then, but I want to make sure if we meet up again I can bring another friend with me and it’s something casual like lunch.  I don’t want it to be misconstrued as a date either.  I really just want to learn more about what politics are like here!  We’ll see if anything comes from that.  Right now I'm sensing it might blow over.

Back to my story.  We spent the night sitting and talking.  At about 11:30 we drove over to Arthur and Debbie’s friends’ house who were hosting two guys from our program.  One of them goes to GW so I got to hang out and talk with him a bit.  The family that lived there consisted of a mother and father who lived with their three grandchildren.  The father was the priest at one of the community churches.  It was nice to meet them and talk with them, but by about 12:30 Caroline and I were ready for bed.

The next morning we leisurely got up and got dressed and ready for the day.  We had plans to drive to Hout Bay and braai in the afternoon.  The drive to the bay took about 20 minutes and was a beautiful scenic drive along the coast.  At Hout Bay, we walked around and looked at the boats and markets set up there.  Not gonna lie, it smelled prrreeettyyyy gross (or siff as the South Africans would say).  It smelled really fishy and salty, but not exactly in a fresh way.  Regardless, it was a really nice way to spend the morning.  After our Hout Bay excursion, we walked around on another local beach where unfortunately, we could not find any mussels.  (Debbie was really excited to show us mussels but the tide was too high so that was a bummer).

We had a nice tuna salad for lunch at home, then all went to our respective rooms for an afternoon nap.  Caroline and I were exhausted, which we realized once we woke up at 5:30.  By this time it was braai time!  Debbie was always so incredibly hospitable and no matter how much we offered, never allowed us to lift a finger to help her in the kitchen.  She prepared the meat as Arthur got the braai ready.

At this point, Grant, the family member who lived in the back house, had joined us inside and was happily offering us lots and lots of my favorite beer, Black Label.  The drinking culture in the colored community is actually quite interesting.  Both Arthur and Debbie kept making comments about how Caroline and I don’t drink very much throughout the weekend.  It wasn’t said negatively or positively, but they continued to notice and point it out.  Drinking in the colored community is huge.  Arthur told me how it’s expected that if you buy a case of some type of alcohol, you wouldn’t leave until it’s finished.  I guess that mentality can be comparable in some instances to the culture of a fraternity on occassion, but other than that, it’s not something I’ve ever experienced at home/in the US.  We had been made aware of the heavy drinking that may take place in Ocean View, but it was interesting to hear about it first hand.  Arthur also made the comment that he felt it was ridiculous that people say they don’t have money to do things, but then they’re able to pay for and drink a hefty amount of alcohol.  I guess that’s just a typical conflict of priorities.

I could definitely sense the emphasis on drinking during the weekend.  In no way did I ever feel uncomfortable, but Arthur, Debbie, and Grant were always very generous with the alcohol they were giving us and you could tell they were happy when we accepted the drinks we were given.  While they recognize that alcoholism is a problem in the colored community where they live, it is also part of the culture there and trickles into every day life.

Grant was very interesting when it came to alcohol.  He was very interested in telling us his story: he was a former gangster who had gotten caught up in drugs and moved to Ocean View to start over.  He said that he happily gave up is former life, but he just couldn’t give up the drinking.  Throughout Saturday night he definitely drank a fair amount.  He was never visibly drunk (or enough for me to tell), however, it was just fascinating to see how alcohol played into his life.  It was actually pretty funny though because him and Arthur kept saying they wanted to teach Caroline and I how to “drink like the coloreds.”  I think we may have a bit of work to do.

We spent the night talking, eating, and relaxing.  We had a great dinner – chicken, sausage, beef, beans, potato salad, vegetables, corn – the list goes on.  As Debbie, Arthur, Caroline, and I talked, I realized I had no idea how drastic the differences are between the blacks and the coloreds.  They are 100% two different cultures! 

First, just to start with the names.  My host parents were named Debbie and Arthur.  These names are definitely one’s I’ve heard before and are recognizable, as were the names of others living in this same colored community.  Black names, however, can tend to be very different from names we’d hear in the US.  Some that I can think of off the top of my head are Zimasa or Mfana.  Many South Africans who come from the Xhosa descent even have clicks in their name such as Xolisiwe.  Where the “x” is, there is a click sound that you make with your tongue.  It’s really difficult to do and I’m in a group project with someone who has a click in his name so I’m making it my life goal to figure out how to say it right before I leave.  But even beyond names, the culture in black and colored societies is totally different.  They have different political, social, and cultural views.  Arthur explained how blacks rely strongly on the government and expect the government to provide more for them.  He described them as feeling “entitled.”  In comparison to the coloreds, Arthur said that the colored community works hard and does not expect to be provided for.  Even the way the houses are built is different.  In a colored community, houses are a bit more spread out.  Black townships tend to have houses right on top of one another so the physical makeup of a community is highly populated and dense.

Politically, the blacks typically support the ANC whereas the coloreds tend to support the DA.  He talked about how the black culture greatly affects politics as well.  Arthur said that blacks tend to have significantly more children than coloreds.  He used an example of a black family having eight children to provide for although they may not have the money to do so.  In comparison to what I experienced, him and Debbie only have two children so this is much different.  As a result of the huge black population, the ANC tends to get the majority vote in the country.  Arthur clearly was not a strong supporter of the ANC (although he really just didn’t support the corruption of politics in general).  He gave us one example of how the ANC protects blacks in ways that he believes puts South Africa in danger.  For example, the ANC got rid of the death penalty here, Arthur claims, because ANC supporters (typically blacks) are the ones who are most likely to be convicted.  Arthur told us how he really does not like the current president, Jacob Zuma, and was very adamant in believing that politics won’t solve any problems until members of every race can sit down at a table and work together to make progress.

It’s an interesting perspective he gave and while I know a lot of what he said was a stereotype and generalization that could even be considered racist, there is always some amount of truth to such stereotypes in order for them to be created in the first place.  Although I’m trying my best to understand things here, I don’t think I’ll ever be informed enough to make my own opinions about these things because it’s too hard to know without living here.

We also talked about our decision to come to Ocean View for the weekend and I was really surprised at Arthur and Debbie’s point of view.  Initially I felt semi uncomfortable with the whole situation.  It felt as if this group of 70 relatively well-off Americans were coming into a township to see “how those who aren’t as fortunate” live.  It almost seemed like a zoo.  Here are these other people that we don’t know and they live soooo differently from us that we get to observe their ways.  When would these people ever come to the US and do a homestay in Beverly Hills?  Never...  I really just couldn’t wrap my head around this concept because it seemed so strange and voyeuristic, for lack of a better word. 

In fact, the whole experience was totally different from this.  When I asked my host parents if it was strange having American students in their home for a weekend, they said they were so happy about it.  They told us how this is the “real South Africa” because this is how the majority of South Africans lived.  They also explained how this was an exchange.  Although they were hosting us, we were also teaching them new things about the US and our culture.  It was a really interesting perspective and I felt a lot better and more comfortable after thinking about it from their perspective.

Sunday was a relaxing day.  Arthur and Debbie insisted that Caroline and I sleep in while they went to church.  Caroline was feeling a bit sick so they wanted her to get sleep.  I was a little bit bummed we didn't go to church because I was interested in seeing what it was like, but it was nice to be able to rest and have a relaxing morning.  After we got up, we walked down to an area called the Farm that had little shops and tourist attractions such as camel riding.  Debbie said she mostly only came there when she had exchange students in town.  After this, we came back for lunch.  Debbie had cooked a really tasty Indian dish (I forget the name) with rice and chicken.  I've been eating so much Indian food here and I'm really liking it!  We then spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing before it was time to head to the bus and go back to UCT.

I really could go on for days about this trip and we talked about so much more than I could ever discuss in one single blog post, but for now I’m going to end this post in order to move on to the next!

Here's a picture of my family:

I hope things are going well at home/in DC/wherever you may be that you're reading this!  Until next time :) 

A quick disclaimer

Hi!

I just wanted to write a quick something just so you know what's going on.  I promise I haven't forgotten about my blog at all!  In fact, I have about 4 or 5 posts that I'm halfway through writing, but I'm not just ready to post.  Things have been so hectic the past few days/week.  Not stressful hectic, just keeping me very busy.  I have a history paper due this Wednesday (which is eating away my time) so I probably won't be able to post until after it's turned it, but I promise (underlined that for emphasis) I'll post before I leave for Botswana and Zimbabwe this Friday!!

To throw you a few bones, my upcoming posts are about:

-My homestay in Ocean View
-The CIEE Living and Learning class/my cultural partner/my expectations/etc.
-Last weekend's tea party, shopping adventure, and Robben Island
-This weekend's food exploration, Cape Town Carnival, and discovery of the coolest and most beautiful restaurant/bar ever
-All the cool words I'm learning and the overall lingo down here.

In other news, I started taking my malaria pills last Saturday for my upcoming spring break trip - WOOHOO!  So that's fun.

Fun fact: apparently the library doesn't open until 8 am here.  That's weird. Whatever happened to 24 hour library service?

Oh and PS - I saw Mitch last weekend!!  (For those of you who don't know her because you don't go to GW, she's a friend from my sorority who I went to that leadership camp with last summer).

Ok, I've got to return to Jagger Library aka the most beautiful, quiet library ever so I can continue my essay about the social, racial, and class-oriented hierarchy that existed in 18th century Cape Town.  I promise you'll hear from me soon! :)

Powder and Picnicking

This was an AMAZING weekend.  Seriously the most fun I've had in a long, long time!  It was a nice combination of crazy and relaxing - naturally it's easy to get the best of both worlds in Cape Town.

The weekend started on Friday night when Ali, Jesse, Hannah, and I ventured to Green Point for some "Mexican" food.  Although I'm loving every minute of my time here, I've found this city's biggest downfall - THERE IS NO REAL (or even Chipotle-esque) MEXICAN FOOD.  This poses a huge threat to the rest of my time here.  Yes, DC is lacking in the authentic Mexican food category, but at least I can go to Chipotle or Lauriol Plaza when times get rough!  Hey, I even spent a fair amount of time at Baja Fresh last semester.  When Mexican food calls, Mexican food calls.

Side note: Hannah and I attempted to make tacos earlier in the week only to learn the following things do no exist here:

-Cholula
-Cilantro
-Black or refried beans
-Corn tortillas
-Tortilla chips
-REAL salsa (none of that questionable chipotle/watery/debatably marinara sauce flavored stuff)
-Pico de Gallo
-Legitimate guacamole (at least this can be made.... minus the cilantro)

This posed a serious dilemma to both of us since we are California born and raised.  We wanted to make tacos for two of our South African friends and we were forced to make makeshift tacos!  Such a bummer.  Also, the grocery store only sold one brand and type of tortilla.  And each package of 8 cost R50!  Ugh.  Talk about struggles.  Needless to say, our makeshift tacos turned out pretty well (especially for the lack of resources) and our South African friends seemed to enjoy them a lot (or they just pretended and ate a lot).  The sad part was this was one of the guys' first taco experience!  We were so sad it wasn't more authentic, but the good thing is he didn't know what he was missing.

Ok back to the real story - the quest for Mexican food on Friday.  We'd heard this place called El Burro was supposed to be good, so we made a reservation there for dinner!  I must say it was the best Mexican food (or only?) I've found here so far.  I wouldn't say it's authentic at all, but it tasted good so I'll take it.  There are still 2 other potential Mexican restaurants here (Pancho's and Fat Cactus - not promising names) so we'll have to see what else awaits.

It was a relaxing Friday and we just chilled after dinner - much needed in preparation for the busy weekend!

So Saturday morning came and although I had super ambitious plans to go to the gym and grocery shop, I did none of those and just hung out instead.  At about 1pm we started getting ready for Holi Festival.  It's a very strange thing to explain.  The festival originated as a Hindu tradition that celebrates the arrival of spring.  You're supposed to throw colored powder in the air and just be happy I guess.  Some brilliant business person must have decided somewhere along the way that this would be a great way to make money.  So it's been turned into a music festival where colored powder is thrown into the air every hour.  It's pretty awesome.  Not to mention that this was all taking place literally right beneath Table Mountain.  Quite surreal.

There was a different DJ every hour and the music was really good!  It was a bit hectic when the powder was thrown.  It was as if you're in a sand storm in the desert (so I'd imagine) and it made it really hard to breathe.  But it was also a really exciting burst of color/excitement/festivity!

Now just imagine that if you're looking at the stage and you turn to the right, that's Table Mountain.  SO COOL!  We frolicked around all day.  We got there at 3 and didn't leave until about 9.  I'd say it was a successful day of colorful fun!  Hannah and I also left to get dinner at Eastern Food Bazaar, which was right down the street.  We got some type of Indian chicken and rice dish and it was tasty.  I've been eating a lot of Indian food here and I'm really enjoying it!

Sunday was just as fun, but in a totally different way.  We went to a concert at a really beautiful venue called Kirstenbosch.  It's an outdoor garden with a stage about 10 minutes from campus.  Here we heard a band/DJ/I don't even know what they were called Goldfish.  They were so good!!!  From what I gathered, it's 2 guys.  One is a DJ who plays the keyboard and the other is also a DJ who plays the saxophone.  They have a few random singers that will join in for one or two songs, but other than that it's them.  If you can imagine a mix of jazz and techno and house music, then you kind of can understand what it was like.  Here's a youtube link to my favorite of their songs!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EzG_xma-zc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjwoit91SxU

Also, here's a picture of the venue.  It doesn't do it justice.  If I can find a better picture I'll add it in later for sure!

We got there early and had a fabulous picnic.  It was so tasty!  We brought fruit, crackers, pasta salad, chocolate covered raisins, hummus and veggies - basically the works.  It was such a relaxing way to spend a Sunday afternoon and the best part was that we were back early enough that I've been able to finish my homework tonight!

In other news: my marketing class is the ultimate struggle.  It's all about the South African market and South African products and consumers.  How am I supposed to know this!?  Well, I'm definitely learning a lot fast.  I just feel like I'm at such a disadvantage than all the other students.  Oh well.  I'm sure it'll be okay (or so I hope).  I'm currently working on a paper discussing three macro forces that impact the marketing environment in South African and what my recommendations to marketers would be regarding these environmental changes.... Not exactly my forte.

This week should be pretty fun!  Tomorrow is the UCT rugby game and this weekend I'm going to Robben Island with other CIEE students.  I've started the Cape Town Living and Learning class that's offered through CIEE and I'm really enjoying it.  I had to find a "cultural partner" who I can discuss many of the things we talk about in class with and ask questions.  My cultural partner is a student at a school near UCT.  He's the same age as me and has grown up in Kwazulu-Natal, a province on the eastern side of South Africa.  I'm not yet sure what types of things I'll be asking him, but excited to learn more!

Lastly, I promise I'm still going to post about the homestay last weekend!  It's just a really long post to be and I have many thoughts that I need to organize in my head before I can successfully write about it.  Ta ta for now!

Lessons in Communication

I mentioned before that I'm volunteering every Thursday to tutor at a township called Khayelitsha.  I volunteer through a UCT program called SHAWCO.  We are bussed to a learning center in the township where we teach a lesson in English and/or Life Skills for about an hour and a half with an 8th grade student.  My student is a 13 year old girl.   

I could not have asked for a better student - this girl is incredible.  She is motivated, smart, driven, and wise beyond her years.  She tells me how she stays in the classroom during lunch at school so she can read and study.  Like I said, very driven.  Apparently, the kids who go to this after school program are chosen by their teachers because they show the most promise as students in the class.

Within the first five minutes of talking to her, she was already telling me how she is working hard in school so she can attend a university and become a social worker.  She wants to help others living in her community.  I feel like I'm talking to a 50 year old when I'm talking to her.  She is incredibly introspective and deep thinking.  I feel like I could have a legitimate, adult conversation about "real life" issues with her for hours.  To be honest, I can't tell if that's a good thing that she's so mature or a bad thing that she has been forced to grow up way too young.

During the past two weeks, we've worked on punctuation marks, apostrophes, contractions, and comparisons.  Along with the English section, there is also a Life Skills component to the tutoring.  Yesterday's life skills lessons were on children's rights and gangsterism.  I can't begin to describe what I experienced while talking to her and it really frustrates me.  As part of the children's rights section, her and I switched off reading the UN list of rights for all children.  They were all pretty logical - children have rights to safety, security, free education, etc.  At the end of the lesson there were a list of questions to help spark conversation and reflection from the reading.  The first question was: "Have your rights ever been violated."  She responded by saying that yes hers had.  At the age of five, her uncle raped her.  She continued by saying that she knows this was wrong and in the future she will stand up for herself and not let something like this happen again.  She told me how she has a right to privacy and for her body not to be violated.  She followed this by saying she knows her uncle was drunk and "he didn't know what he was doing."  When I asked her what she meant by that, she told me that the Bible has told her to forgive him for he does not know that he has sinned.  She said she would never try to get revenge and because he is her elder, she still respects him.  I asked her if she has been able to forgive him and she said she has, but she will never forget what he did.

The whole situation/conversation really left me speechless, frustrated, and full of questions.   This was something I was in no way prepared for and did not know how to react to.  Because she had brought it up, I decided to ask my questions.  I've found that people here are very open about things that are considered "taboo topics" in the US - drugs, gangsterism, rape, etc.  She continued to talk and although I could tell this is an incident that has really scarred her and severely changed her life, I could also tell that it is something she wanted to talk about.

We talked for a while and she told me how she tells her friends that they have rights too.  It is something that she doesn’t want to happen to any of her friends. 

The afternoon ended with me being in a strange mood.  There were so many things that I wanted to talk about but I just didn’t know where or how.  First of all, I don’t understand how is it fair that this happened to her.  There’s no justification whatsoever and it just doesn’t make any sense.  It also frustrated me that she was saying how she still respects her uncle.  I don’t understand how that is possible.  It’s clear that she’s more mature than I am about this, but is it wrong to respect someone who’s done something like that to you?  Her composure and confidence blew my mind.  On the other hand, maybe it’s wrong of me to assume that she should disrespect her uncle.  I really don’t know. 

I contemplated whether or not this was something I wanted to include on my blog.  It bothered me a lot and I felt like I didn't want to subject anyone else to the frustration I experienced in hearing this.  I realized, however, that it would by an inaccurate representation of my abroad experience if I didn't include it.  Realistically, this blog can’t give a perfectly accurate representation of what I’m doing here because there is only so much I can write.  I’m trying to write as much as I can though so I hope it can be as “unbiased” as possible.   I also realized that it would be the more “American” approach if I did not include it.  Here’s why:

I’ve noticed while being here that in the US we have a habit of "sugar coating" things.  It's like this need to create who you are and what you've been through.  There are certain things that we are ashamed of or would never talk about to others – many of them not even to our closest friends.  But here I’ve been experiencing something completely different.  I've experienced what it is like to be somewhere where there is no limit to socially acceptable or unacceptable conversation topics and I'm beginning to think that we may have it wrong at home.

This past weekend while at the homestay, I talked with one of the family members who had gotten caught up in gangsterism in his past.  He was telling us (myself and the other American who stayed with me) about how he’s turned his life around and has changed.  He was so open about it – almost in a way that made me feel uncomfortable - and I asked him why it was that he just talked about it so openly.  His response was that the only way to change things is by acknowledging them and talking about them.  If you don’t talk about it, how is anyone to even know it is an issue?  It’s a pretty logical thought process and makes a lot of sense.  Granted, it’s not easy to do, but I do think that it must have more positive outcomes than saying nothing at all.

Although my time with SHAWCO yesterday really shook me, I am still excited to go back next week.  I enjoy working with my student (I don’t want to use her name for her own privacy) and she is really receptive to what we’ve gone over so far.  Whenever I teach her something new or correct a mistake, you can tell she is making a mental note so she does not do it again.   I also feel like I’m learning a lot from her and I really look forward to seeing her every week.  This was not the only conversation we had besides grammar – we also talked a lot about gangsterism in her community.  Yet another serious and uncomfortable topic.  My goal for her (academically) is to finish the 8^th grade book and move on to the 9^th grade book before this semester is over.  I also think I’m going to start bringing her extra homework in case she wants to review during the week.