The time has finally come! I’ve been meaning to write this post for so long. It’s been two (almost three!) weeks now since I stayed
in Ocean View with my host parents, Arthur and Debbie, and there is so much to
write about from those three days.
The reason I’ve waited so long is because it really was an incredible
weekend and I wanted to devote enough time to this post as it deserves. It’s not something that should be
rushed and I’ve been pretty busy this past week studying for my Geology
exam and writing a History paper. I have one more class at 4 today then it's officially spring break! It's going by wayyyy too fast which is actually a bit upsetting. I never thought I'd be at a place where I'm not ready to go on spring break by the time it arrives. Regardless, I'm really getting excited for my trip to Botswana and Zimbabwe.
Where do I even begin?! I’ll start at the veeeeery beginning. As in before we even left. Basically on Monday we were told that
we would be going on the homestay that coming Friday. Obviously, if you didn’t want to go you didn’t have to, but
it was highly encouraged for us to go.
I was definitely going – I mean, I’m here in South Africa to learn about
and understand this country and here I am going to what is pretty much the best
university in the country. I’d say
that’s a pretty skewed view of South Africa as a whole. Not that I’m complaining! I love UCT and everything about
it! But it can’t hurt to also
spend time in places other than Rondebosch (the suburb where I live).
We had a meeting on Wednesday before leaving going over the
basics of what we should expect for the weekend. As per usual, it was semi vague. I’ve found that Americans really expect exact answers when events are planned. Ambiguity is not particularly
appreciated. I’ve also found that
things in South Africa are, as the South Africans would say, pretty
chilled. Meaning there’s a
go-with-the-flow mentality and there’s enough planning so that there’s not a
huge mess up, but not enough to answer the questions we would typically expect.
I pretty much went into the weekend knowing the following
information:
We’ll be staying with a family who lives in Ocean View. This is the same township we visited
where we heard the children’s band about a month and a half ago. Ocean View came about after the forced
removals in the 60s. Most of the
residents here moved from an area called Simon’s Town and moved their homes and
families here. Since then, it has
become a colored community housing thousands of families. Almost all of the houses or apartments
are made of brick. Today the
community faces the issues of teenage pregnancy, high school dropout, alcohol
abuse, meth (called tik), and there is also a large Rastafarian community
nearby. Honestly, I’d say we have
our fair share of these issues back in the US as well. Granted that everything is on a
different scale, to a different extent, and with a different context, I was
actually surprised before going on this trip to hear so many similarities to
issues back in the US. As bad as
this sounds, I expected them to list off all these crazy issues and challenges
and just be overwhelmed to think that this is where I’d be staying for the
weekend. In actuality, these are
challenges that are quite relevant in the US (although I can’t say I’ve been
directly exposed to them I know I don’t represent the majority of the
country). When taken at face value
(meaning when you don’t know the politics and such behind the issues) they’re
virtually the same things that cause problems in the US. So that was an interesting
realization/expectation to have going into the weekend.
As far as other information we were given, we were basically
told to show up at a bus on Friday at 6pm and we’d be back on Sunday around
3pm. There were possibilities we
might be going to church or the beach so pack accordingly. We did not need to bring bedding or
towels, but we were responsible for bringing a gift for our family. We were advised not to bring wine
because there are a handful of Muslim families participating in the
homestays. I decided to bake
brownies for my family. I wish I
had planned when I was home so I could have brought them something from home!
On Friday we were packed into two big busses and taken from
UCT to Ocean View, about a 45 minutes drive away. As I experienced the last time we were there, we were warmly
welcomed. All 70 students and
their families went to the multipurpose center where we were fed a great meal
and watched a few performances from the locals. The performances were pretty similar to the last ones we
saw. We saw the children’s band,
some singers, and a few dance performances. I briefly met my host parents Arthur and Debbie, but it was
a bit hectic so I didn’t get to talk to them very much. I also met the other exchange student,
Caroline, who would be staying with me.
I actually live right next door to her in Rondebosch so it was fun to
get to know someone I wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise!
We were the first family to leave after the presentation. I was totally fine with that though
because I was excited to get settled in and meet my parents! We got in their car and drove about
five minutes away to their home.
At this point it was probably about 9:30 and Caroline were pretty tired
from the busy week we had had, but ready to get to know our parents better and
learn about their lives in Ocean View.
Our family consisted of a mother and father named Arthur and
Debbie. They were both in their
mid-50s and their two daughters had moved out of the house so it was just
them. A cousin lived in a house in
the back and we got to spend some time with him as well. His name is Grant and he is probably in
his 20s or 30s. Initially I was a
little bummed about this because I thought it would be fun to have kids in the
family! Looking back on my
experience, I think I got even more out of being able to have “adult”
conversations with my family. I
also really enjoyed the laid back, slower pace of the weekend.
Their house was on a bustling street. There were tons of people out and about
at such a “late” hour on Friday, but it was lively and exciting. We dropped our backpacks off in our
room upstairs then went downstairs to sit with Debbie and Arthur in the living
room. Arthur was watching a
channel with tons of “top hit” music videos and Debbie immediately came in
offering Caroline and I a “premium vodka flavored drink” called Purple Ice Red
Square. She said this is her
daughter’s favorite drink and was very excited for us to have it too. Neither Arthur nor Debbie drink
anymore. I didn’t pry into reasons
why, but Arthur did mention something about him potentially having or
developing diabetes while him and I were talking about alcohol so the two might
be related. Or maybe not.
As Caroline and I enjoyed our purple drank (quite
literally), we sat and talked downstairs.
Initially I thought Arthur was really quiet and reserved when we were in
the gymnasium, but after talking to him for a bit at home I came to the
conclusion that he is more reserved in big social settings than in intimate
settings where he really opens up.
In fact, Arthur is quite opinionated!
I was a bit shocked within the first hour as he told us how
South Africa is getting “worse” and will never improve. He was referring mostly to the
corruption in the government and the leaders who were in power for being
responsible for South Africa not improving much. Personally, I still think there is hope of things improving
in this country. While I don’t
live here and don’t understand things like Arthur and Debbie do, I do still
think things can be improved with the right leadership. The current president, Jacob Zuma, does
not seem to be liked by many people at all. Granted, I have not gone around asking people all over the
spectrum, but I have yet to hear one
positive thing about him since I’ve been here. I’m curious to hear what the black community thinks of him
because I’ve really only heard directly from whites, coloreds, and blacks at UCT.
We talked a lot about politics over the weekend (Can you
actually imagine me being totally engaged and excited in politics? I think it’s because I don’t yet
understand it enough to be frustrated by it like I am at home). I’ve been asking a lot of people about
politics since my homestay. In
fact, I went out to a bar with friends one night after we got back and ended up
talking to two guys about politics here for about an hour. One of the guys supported the DA
(Democratic Alliance) and the other supported the ANC (African National Congress). Both were white men probably about the
same age so it was fascinating to hear things from both sides of the political
spectrum. After a certain point,
my friends decided to go somewhere else so we exchanged numbers and said we’d
continue the conversation at some point in the future. I’ve been in touch with one of the guys
once since then, but I want to make sure if we meet up again I can bring
another friend with me and it’s something casual like lunch. I don’t want it to be misconstrued as a
date either. I really just want to
learn more about what politics are like here! We’ll see if anything comes from that. Right now I'm sensing it might blow over.
Back to my story.
We spent the night sitting and talking. At about 11:30 we drove over to Arthur and Debbie’s friends’
house who were hosting two guys from our program. One of them goes to GW so I got to hang out and talk with
him a bit. The family that lived
there consisted of a mother and father who lived with their three
grandchildren. The father was the
priest at one of the community churches.
It was nice to meet them and talk with them, but by about 12:30 Caroline
and I were ready for bed.
The next morning we leisurely got up and got dressed and
ready for the day. We had plans to
drive to Hout Bay and braai in the afternoon. The drive to the bay took about 20 minutes and was a
beautiful scenic drive along the coast.
At Hout Bay, we walked around and looked at the boats and markets set up
there. Not gonna lie, it smelled
prrreeettyyyy gross (or siff as the South Africans would say). It smelled really fishy and salty, but
not exactly in a fresh way.
Regardless, it was a really nice way to spend the morning. After our Hout Bay excursion, we walked
around on another local beach where unfortunately, we could not find any
mussels. (Debbie was really
excited to show us mussels but the tide was too high so that was a bummer).
We had a nice tuna salad for lunch at home, then all went to
our respective rooms for an afternoon nap. Caroline and I were exhausted,
which we realized once we woke up at 5:30. By this time it was braai time! Debbie was always so incredibly
hospitable and no matter how much we offered, never allowed us to lift a finger
to help her in the kitchen. She
prepared the meat as Arthur got the braai ready.
At this point, Grant, the family member who lived in the
back house, had joined us inside and was happily offering us lots and lots of
my favorite beer, Black Label. The
drinking culture in the colored community is actually quite interesting. Both Arthur and Debbie kept making comments
about how Caroline and I don’t drink very much throughout the weekend. It wasn’t said negatively or
positively, but they continued to notice and point it out. Drinking in the colored community is
huge. Arthur told me how it’s
expected that if you buy a case of some type of alcohol, you wouldn’t leave
until it’s finished. I guess that
mentality can be comparable in some instances to the culture of a fraternity on occassion,
but other than that, it’s not something I’ve ever experienced at home/in the
US. We had been made aware of the
heavy drinking that may take place in Ocean View, but it was interesting to
hear about it first hand. Arthur
also made the comment that he felt it was ridiculous that people say they don’t
have money to do things, but then they’re able to pay for and drink a hefty
amount of alcohol. I guess that’s
just a typical conflict of priorities.
I could definitely sense the emphasis on drinking during the
weekend. In no way did I ever feel
uncomfortable, but Arthur, Debbie, and Grant were always very generous with the alcohol they were giving us and you could
tell they were happy when we accepted the drinks we were given. While they recognize that alcoholism is
a problem in the colored community where they live, it is also part of the culture
there and trickles into every day life.
Grant was very interesting when it came to alcohol. He was very interested in telling us
his story: he was a former gangster who had gotten caught up in drugs and moved
to Ocean View to start over. He
said that he happily gave up is former life, but he just couldn’t give up the
drinking. Throughout Saturday
night he definitely drank a fair amount.
He was never visibly drunk (or enough for me to tell), however, it was
just fascinating to see how alcohol played into his life. It was actually pretty funny though
because him and Arthur kept saying they wanted to teach Caroline and I how to
“drink like the coloreds.” I think
we may have a bit of work to do.
We spent the night talking, eating, and relaxing. We had a great dinner – chicken, sausage, beef, beans, potato salad,
vegetables, corn – the list goes on.
As Debbie, Arthur, Caroline, and I talked, I realized I had no idea how drastic the differences are
between the blacks and the coloreds.
They are 100% two different cultures!
First, just to start with the names. My host parents were named Debbie and
Arthur. These names are definitely
one’s I’ve heard before and are recognizable, as were the names of others
living in this same colored community.
Black names, however, can tend to be very different from names we’d hear
in the US. Some that I can think
of off the top of my head are Zimasa or Mfana. Many South Africans who come from the Xhosa descent even
have clicks in their name such as Xolisiwe. Where the “x” is, there is a click sound that you make with
your tongue. It’s really difficult
to do and I’m in a group project with someone who has a click in his name so
I’m making it my life goal to figure out how to say it right before I
leave. But even beyond names, the
culture in black and colored societies is totally different. They have different political, social,
and cultural views. Arthur
explained how blacks rely strongly on the government and expect the government
to provide more for them. He
described them as feeling “entitled.”
In comparison to the coloreds, Arthur said that the colored community works
hard and does not expect to be provided for. Even the way the houses are built is different. In a colored community, houses are a
bit more spread out. Black
townships tend to have houses right on top of one another so the physical
makeup of a community is highly populated and dense.
Politically, the blacks typically support the ANC whereas
the coloreds tend to support the DA.
He talked about how the black culture greatly affects politics as
well. Arthur said that blacks tend
to have significantly more children than coloreds. He used an example of a black family having eight children
to provide for although they may not have the money to do so. In comparison to what I experienced,
him and Debbie only have two children so this is much different. As a result of the huge black
population, the ANC tends to get the majority vote in the country. Arthur clearly was not a strong
supporter of the ANC (although he really just didn’t support the corruption of
politics in general). He gave us
one example of how the ANC protects blacks in ways that he believes puts South
Africa in danger. For example, the
ANC got rid of the death penalty here, Arthur claims, because ANC supporters
(typically blacks) are the ones who are most likely to be convicted. Arthur told us how he really does not
like the current president, Jacob Zuma, and was very adamant in believing that
politics won’t solve any problems until members of every race can sit down at a table and work together to make progress.
It’s an interesting perspective he gave and while I know a
lot of what he said was a stereotype and generalization that could even be
considered racist, there is always some amount of truth to such stereotypes in
order for them to be created in the first place. Although I’m trying my best to understand things here, I don’t
think I’ll ever be informed enough to make my own opinions about these things
because it’s too hard to know without living here.
We also talked about our decision to come to Ocean View for
the weekend and I was really surprised at Arthur and Debbie’s point of view. Initially I felt semi uncomfortable
with the whole situation. It felt
as if this group of 70 relatively well-off Americans were coming into a
township to see “how those who aren’t as fortunate” live. It almost seemed like a zoo. Here are these other people that we
don’t know and they live soooo differently from us that we get to observe their
ways. When would these people ever
come to the US and do a homestay in Beverly Hills? Never... I really just couldn’t wrap my head around this concept
because it seemed so strange and voyeuristic, for lack of a better word.
In fact, the whole experience was totally different from
this. When I asked my host parents
if it was strange having American students in their home for a weekend, they
said they were so happy about it.
They told us how this is the “real South Africa” because this is how the
majority of South Africans lived.
They also explained how this was an exchange. Although they were hosting us, we were also teaching them new
things about the US and our culture.
It was a really interesting perspective and I felt a lot better and more
comfortable after thinking about it from their perspective.
Sunday was a relaxing day. Arthur and Debbie insisted that Caroline and I sleep in while they went to church. Caroline was feeling a bit sick so they wanted her to get sleep. I was a little bit bummed we didn't go to church because I was interested in seeing what it was like, but it was nice to be able to rest and have a relaxing morning. After we got up, we walked down to an area called the Farm that had little shops and tourist attractions such as camel riding. Debbie said she mostly only came there when she had exchange students in town. After this, we came back for lunch. Debbie had cooked a really tasty Indian dish (I forget the name) with rice and chicken. I've been eating so much Indian food here and I'm really liking it! We then spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing before it was time to head to the bus and go back to UCT.
I really could go on for days about this trip and we talked about
so much more than I could ever discuss in one single blog post, but for now I’m
going to end this post in order to move on to the next!
Here's a picture of my family:
I hope things are going well at home/in DC/wherever you may be that you're reading this! Until next time :)
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